


Of Mischief and Men

by Lady_Sinistra



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Humor, Meddling, Minor Angst, Romance, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-23
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-12-12 18:17:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/814550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Sinistra/pseuds/Lady_Sinistra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the female crew members of the Normandy decide it's would be a good idea to mettle in Shepard's private life, she decides to play along. With Garrus's assistance of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Gossiping of Women

**Author's Note:**

> This idea just will not let me go until I give it life. This takes place somewhere in the realm of ME2.

0200 hours. It was far too early, or perhaps far too late, for anyone to be awake. Yet, Shepard couldn't sleep. Like a butterfly caught in the May breezes of a late North American spring on Earth, sleep seemed to be just out of her grasp as it flitted around her. With a heavy sigh she gathered herself up and left the overly comfortable bed in her private cabin.

 _If I can't sleep, I might as well get something accomplished,_ she mused. _But first, coffee. I just hope I don't wake Garrus this time._

After she pulled on her casuals, Shepard trudged into the elevator with her personal coffee mug in her hand. It was chipped and cracked from its reassembly, but it was her favorite. It had been a gift from Garrus from the SR-1. He had managed to find out her birthday even though she had gone through the extra effort of having it removed from her personnel records with the Alliance. Still to this day he refused to tell her how he did it. She smiled at the memory.

_**Shepard walked into her cabin. She let a sigh escape her lips; Kaiden just didn't understand that he was not what she wanted. She needed something - someone - far stronger than him to be her lover. Someone she could feel secure with, that wouldn't follow orders when they were alone. Someone who she trusted with her life and trusted her with theirs.** _

_**Someone with piercing blue eyes and a flanging voice full of trust and strength.** _

_**Kaiden was a good soldier but hell if he wasn't thick in the head. He irritated her to no end with his puppy dog eyes following her everywhere she went.** _

_**"What part of 'hell no' doesn't that kid get?" she murmured to herself.** _

_**As she began to divest herself of her clothes and get ready for a long hot shower, she realized something seemed off. She stopped and glanced around the room, giving it the once over. That was when she noticed it.** _

_**The oversized blue coffee mug sitting smack in the middle of her desk.** _

_**"Where did this come from?" she asked aloud, as if she hoped the walls could give her an answer.** _

_**She crossed the short distance and picked it up. When she did a piece of paper fluttered to the floor. She leaned down and picked it up, recognizing the handwriting in an instant.** _

_**'Jane,** _

_**I figured it was safe to call you that. You keep telling me to in private, so I thought I'd give it a try.** _

_**As your so-called best friend, it would have been a shame if I had forgotten your birthday. I hope you enjoy the coffee mug. I know how you practically live on the stuff. Now you have your own.** _

_**Happy Birthday,** _

_**Garrus** _

_**P.S. - No, I will not tell you how I found out. I'll take it to my grave. And no, I didn't tell anyone else.'** _

_**She couldn't help but laugh. Leave it to him to figure out something she tried so desperately to hide. He was too good at his job sometimes. She looked back at the mug and couldn't help but notice is was the same beautiful blue as his eyes.** _

 

Shepard stepped out of the elevator and into the mess only to freeze in her place. She heard voices. Who in the blue blazes would be up at this hour? She hid around the corner as she tried to spy on whomever it was sitting in the mess.

"Seriously, most deviant sexual fantasy?" came Kelly's chirping voice.

"Isn't any sexual fantasy deviant Kelly?" Tali asked. "Especially any of yours?"

"Oh shut up!"

Shepard could tell from the resulting laughter there were several of the female crew involved in the discussion. Kelly, Tali, and Kasumi were all easy enough to pick out. She dared to peek around the corner and saw Miranda as well as Samara, Jack, and even Gabby sitting with them. Shepard couldn't help but think this gathering would not bode well for her. She decided to hastily make her way back to her own cabin when she heard someone say her name.

"So, anyone think Shepard and Garrus have hooked up yet?" Gabby asked with a giggle. Shepard nearly choked on her own breath.

"I can tell you, will all certainty, they have not," Tali began. "I doubt they even realize they want each other, let alone that they're in love."

Jack made a hideous gagging noise at the word love, which served to do nothing more than make Samara chuckle and the other women in the room dissolve into brief laughter once more. Tali swatted at Jack as she told her off for not believing in love. The two of them began to argue over it, taking no care to keep their voices down.

Shepard had never been so embarrassed in her life. She had been so careful to not let anyone see how much she wanted Garrus, despite the fact that she knew Tali would figure it out. She had been caught on numerous occasions by the quarian flirting with Garrus as he repaired the Mako. How had he not figured out that she continued to wreck it only so she could spend time with him as he repaired it for her? She could vaguely hear the conversation carrying on but could not bring herself to focus on it. The blood pounding in her ears from her mild panic made it hard to hear anything.

"Perhaps we could ask one of the many males aboard the ship to aid us," Samara mentioned coolly "It would not be hard for any of them to act interested in our commander."

"That... is actually quite brilliant Samara," Miranda commented. Shepard almost hissed. Even her damn XO was in on this! "Jealousy is an easy thing to exploit in any man."

"Turians are incredibly over-protective of their mates," Kelly said quickly. "She may not be his yet, but if we push him too far, his natural instincts will kick in and, um, well..."

Everyone went quiet for a moment. Shepard knew what she meant. Garrus could seriously injure or even kill someone, if the girls were to be believed about his feelings for her. She had done her research on turians and their interpersonal relationships. Not to mention, Fornax had a few really great articles on human-turian escapades. She just had to thank the stars that Jacob never noticed she borrowed them, or if he had he had never mentioned it to anyone.

"Tali, you know them better than anyone. Who do you think would be the best to ask for help?" Kasumi asked. "Who would be the most believable but could still stand up to Garrus if it came down to it?"

"Honestly, I think Thane would be the best choice," Tali started slowly, as though the thoughts were just starting to reach the surface. "He is handsome enough, powerful, and he does care a great deal for Shepard as his commander and as a friend. I see no reason for him to say no. Just let me go on the record saying I don't think this is a good idea."

"Fuck that shit, it's an awesome idea!" Jack yelled. "We've got to work this at both angles though. Piss off Shepard too. One of you should hit on Garrus."

"You are insane Jack, the only one that might be convincing would be Tali," Kasumi said quickly as she hopped down from her seat on the mess table.

"Never said I was sane - but you know that shit is fucking golden," Jack replied with a shrug. "Bet she'd get off her ass and just fuck him if she thought one of you were trying to snag him."

"Why does it have to be us?" Miranda asked. She sounded offended that she should have to lower herself to flirting with an alien. "It was your idea Jack."

"Shut it cheerleader, you all know no one would believe that shit if I did it. He doesn't seem the type for a hot hate-filled fuck. He's too lovey-dovey and shit."

"Kelly should do it," Tali all but shouted. "Everyone knows you have a case of xenophilia Kelly."

Shepard had decided that enough was enough. She moved back to the elevator slowly and looked down at her coffee mug. She sighed before she closed her eyes and dropped it. She couldn't bare to look at it as it shattered across the floor. The scattered blue pieces, chipped and faded, would have simply made her think more about Garrus.

"Fuck! Goddamn it that was my favorite coffee mug!" She yelled with a frown. "I doubt I'll be able to save it this time."

She could have heard a pin drop as silent as the mess had become. It was like no one was there. She couldn't help the grin that split across her face when she heard the doors to the main battery open and the click of talons on the metal floor.

"Everything okay Ja-" Garrus stopped and took in the sight of most of the women aboard the Normandy sitting in a circle. "Er, Shepard?"

"Yeah, I just dropped my favorite mug."

"The one I got you for your birthday a few years ago?" He looked straight at Tali with a small smile as he spoke.

"I knew you knew when her birthday was! Liar!" Tali shouted. Everyone glared at her while Garrus chuckled.

"Of course I do. She's my best friend," He commented lightly as he walked toward the elevator. "And, no, I'll never tell."

"Good morning ladies. If you are all up so early, I guess that means you're ready to get to work?" Shepard called as she took a seat on the floor. She had a sad look on her face as she picked up the bigger pieces of the now destroyed mug. She heard everyone pick up their things and scatter for a moment before they realized they would have to hide in Miranda's office.

Garrus came around the corner and nearly laughed. He had never seen Shepard look so forlorn over a possession. He knelt down and began to help her pick up the pieces. He heard her give a faint "thanks" as they worked but she wouldn't look at him.

"Sorry that I woke you up," She said softly. She knew the others would be trying to listen. "Again. I guess I just can't have a cup of coffee without you anymore."

"It's okay. I'd rather be up talking to you than pretending to sleep in the battery," He replied as he took the pieces from her. "How long were you standing there listening to them?"

"More than long enough to hear their plans," Shepard muttered when she felt his talons graze her skin as he took the pieces of mug from her. She felt her face go flush. "Goddamn it I loved that mug."

"I'll get you a new one when we go on shore leave next," He said gently as he stood and walked away to throw away all the pieces they had gathered. "Which is soon I hope."

"I was planning on telling Joker to head to the Citadel after getting my coffee. Seems I don't get coffee today," She replied with a bit of a snort.

"There are other mugs you know."

"I haven't had coffee in anything but the one you bought me since I got it. Why should I start now?" She said as she stepped around the corner. "Will you come up to my room with me after I speak to Joker? I need to talk to you about... things."

Garrus looked back at her. He had never seen her so uncomfortable. She refused to look him in the eyes for some reason and he could hear her heartbeat from across the room. It had to be about the girls' conversation. Was she offended by their accusations? He could feel himself starting to panic and bile rising to the back of his throat. He had never hoped that she could care for him beyond their unique friendship, but he did worry that what the women had said would make her reevaluate it and distance herself from him.

He needed her too much to let something as unimportant as his fantasies drive them apart.

"Of course Shepard. I'll meet you there in ten," He said softly, a small smile on his face. "I'll have coffee for you. You don't function well without it."

Shepard gave him a small smile and, for a brief moment, met his eyes. That same feeling he had, the panic and sick feeling, was reflected in her eyes. Maybe she was just as worried about this as he was. There was something else there, just a small shimmer of emotion, but Garrus couldn't quite put a talon on it.

"Thanks Garrus," Shepard said sweetly before getting into the elevator. "This is why you're my best friend. The little things like that."

As soon as she was on the elevator, Garrus let go of the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. His panic was on the rise. The last thing he ever wanted was Shepard to be uncomfortable around him. She was his best friend and, despite his logic and extreme denial of the fact, the only woman that ever made him want to settle down someday. Even internally he was scared to say he loved her, afraid that once he acknowledged it something would change and ruin his friendship with her. He couldn't stand to see something else in his life go wrong.

He quickly made a pot of coffee, the kind he knew Shepard loved, before making his way up to her cabin. He put in the passcode to the door and took up what Shepard had told him was his spot on her couch. He was there often enough since his return to the Normandy that it was no wonder that people had began to think that he and Shepard were in item. He spent enough time in her room that he had taken to showering there and even had a bottle of his brandy sitting on the shelf next to her bottle of sherry.

Garrus was never one to be bold when it came to romancing a woman. The few little gifts he'd given Shepard over the years were his quiet attempts to show he cared. He never realized how much she loved the simple coffee mug he had gotten her for her birthday nearly 4 years before. He knew her birthday was coming up soon. Maybe he could take her for dinner while they were on shore leave as an early birthday gift.

 _I hope she gives us long enough on the Cidadel to give me a chance to take her on a da- to take her to dinner,_  he thought.  _Just dinner and drinks. Some time to relax. As friends. Because she's my best friend. That's all._

He let a sigh escape him. _I'm a damn fool._

Garrus was so lost in this thoughts he almost missed the 'whoosh' of the door opening.

"We're Citadel bound. ETA, 16 hours. I'm giving everyone four full days of shore leave," Shepard stated as she walked in. She walked around the couch and lean over the back to take the mug of coffee from Garrus's hand before hopping over the back of it to sit next to him.

"Good to hear it," He said, a light chuckle in his voice. "Just long enough to celebrate your birthday."

"Don't you dare tell any of them it's my birthday soon. Let alone how old I'll be."

"Are you counting the two years you were gone?" Garrus asked teasingly. "It still won't make you younger than me."

"Shut up," She punched him in the arm with her free hand. "It makes me one year older than you rather than three. I'll take it."

The two of them sat there, arms pressed gently against each other, and simply enjoyed the silence. A wave of longing, smooth and unrushed, began to grow between them. It was undeniable and almost tangible. Shepard took a few deep breaths as she tried to prepare herself for the conversation she was about to embark upon. It would forever change their friendship no matter which way it took. Before she could speak, Garrus looked down at her.

"What did you want to talk to me about Jane?"

Shepard stayed quiet as she sipped her coffee. A smile crept upon her lips at the taste. It was her coffee, the good kind she hid in the back of the spice cabinet down in the mess. Garrus knew her almost too well. If she were being honest, it was a comfort rather than becoming a point of concern. He was her six, her security, and her best friend.

"What do we want to do about the girls and their meddling?" She gave him a sideways glance as she took another sip of coffee.

"What do you mean?" He asked honestly.

"Do we tell them we overheard, or play along with their game?" She tried to sound a nonchalant as possible but it was easy to hear the mischief in her voice if one knew what to listen for.

Garrus was good at listening. Especially if it was to the nuances of Shepard's voice.

"I think," He started carefully. A question like this coming from any woman, Shepard or not, was double-edged. "we should play along. It would be fun."

"Well," Shepard looked up at him with a grin that he had seen Wrex break a sweat over. "it would seem, as usual, we're on the same page."


	2. Of Jealousy and Propositions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick thank you to all of you who left me kudos on the first chapter. I hope you enjoy this one too!

"Thank you for coming by Thane," Miranda said lightly from behind her desk. She didn't bother to look up from her datapad. "It would seem myself and a few other invested parties have a proposal for you."

Thane simply watched Miranda as she worked. He did not understand why she felt the need to act so distant and mysterious. After a few minutes of silence, Miranda finally tore her eyes away from her datapad and looked up at the drell. She didn't look pleased that she had been stuck with the duty of speaking to him, her face scrunched like she had eaten something foul.

"The ladies of the Normandy and I would like to request your assistance. You see, Garrus and the com-" Miranda abruptly came to a stop when Thane held up his hand.

"I am aware of which you speak. You desire my aid in facilitating a relationship between Vakarian and Shepard. I simply must ask, why me and what do you wish of me?" Thane retained the same passive look on his face as he spoke.

"Make Garrus jealous. Envy is an evil green beast, why not ask our own green nightmare to aid?" Miranda said in a deceptively sweet tone. "One of us, Ms. Chambers in fact, will be working this from the other angle. We are a few hours away from the Citadel with four days of shore leave. Ask Shepard to dinner, or a night of dance and drinks. She can't dance in a club setting but she did grow up with ballroom lessons. There is a new dance hall on the "improved" Citadel."

"Green nightmare?" Thane asked, amused. "If your women are to be believed, I am the most attractive creature they have ever met."

"Yes, well, I know what you're capable of. A nightmare hidden within a dream."

"I will aid you," Thane said with a chuckle. He turned on his heel and started for the door. "However, once we are discovered, I will not hesitate to tell her the truth of it all."

Miranda rolled her eyes and looked toward him, only to discover the drell had disappeared. She sighed as she opened her omni-tool. She did as was asked of her and talked to Thane. He was logical but dangerous. Miranda did not like his kind of danger on the ship. Unfortunately, Shepard trusted him almost as much as she trusted Garrus and Tali. She typed a quick message and sent it to the invested parties she had previously mentioned to Thane.

_The drell is in. If we are discovered he will not hesitate to turn on us however._   
_-M_

It was not more than a few minutes before her omni-tool pinged with several replies.

_Not surprising. He did not live this long without looking out for himself first._   
_-S_

_Good. G already doesn't like him much. He doesn't like the way he looks at her. Now he will have a real reason to dislike him. Please tell me Chambers is going to do this. I can't for so many reasons._   
_-T_

_I still don't know if this is the best idea, but at least now we have a plan._   
_-K_

_Good fucking job! Do you want a damn cookie or something?_   
_-J_

Miranda sighed as she read each one. She had no desire to repeat herself several times over. She pulled them each, one by one, into a group message so they could all stay informed about what was going on. She couldn't help but think bitterly that Shepard better appreciate this when it was all said and done.

_Chambers has been given orders to do what is needed without taking it too far. It will be convincing enough. Thane will have no problem either. Now we just need to observe and provide necessary commentary on occasion. I am heading to the comm room to meet with Shepard. Everyone will get called in shortly._   
_-M_

With a sigh Miranda closed her omni-tool's messaging system. She gathered up her datapad and headed out of her office. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

Shepard couldn't help but pinch the bridge of her nose as she stood just outside of the comm room. Her ground team was getting settled into the space to talk about shore leave. As it were, they were arguing like children as they did so. Bickering, even, as if one of them had taken the other's favorite toy. It was less the nature of her team and more the subject matter that was giving her a headache.

They were arguing about her and Garrus.

"Oh for the love of fuck, just lock them in the fucking observatory and don't let them out until they fuck the hell out of each other!"

"Do you have to be so crass Jack?"

"Fuck off cheerleader."

Shepard heard the elevator doors open and looked up to see Garrus heading her way. She held up a hand to stop him. He gave her a confused look as she walked toward him quickly. Garrus couldn't help that his eyes fell on her hips. The swing of them, strong and graceful, as she walked was enough to make him want to take a few steps back to just watch her that much longer.

 _Get it together!_ He scolded himself.  _She is not some piece of meat for you to dig your talons into!_  

"They're all in there, waiting for us, arguing about us Garrus," Shepard said quickly, her whisper barely loud enough for him to hear.

"You cannot possibly be serious right now Jane," He murmured.

"As a heart attack," she quipped and ignored his confused look. "It's already starting to give me a headache."

"Do you want me to brief everyone so you can lie down?" Garrus asked gently as he reached out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear. She smiled up at him, her cheeks tinted a faint rose color, as she shook her head.

"No, let's just get this over with. Walk me in? It's sure to cause a stir," Shepard punctuated the last part with a chuckle.

"Of course," Garrus replied with his own smile. "Anything to keep you amused."

Shepard smiled and started some small talk with him as they walked back toward the comm room. The voices had only grown in their absence as everyone had taken to yelling to get their point across. Shepard looked up at Garrus and gave him a quick nod before she opened the door.

"Anyone want to tell me what all the yelling was about?" Shepard asked, her voice cool and sharp. She felt Garrus behind her and slightly to her right, his hand hovering near her waist as she crossed her arms over her chest. She had on her commander's mask that betrayed nothing of the mirth that was brimming beneath the surface.

"Just a heated discussion Commander, nothing important," came Jacob's quick reply. Shepard grinned.

"EDI, could you play back for me the contents of the "heated discussion" the ground team was having before I arrived at the comm room?" She nearly laughed as the majority of the room went pale. Even Thane and Grunt, whom she had no idea could actually pale, lost come color.

"I apologize Commander, but XO Lawson asked me to disable the audio recording system in this room when everyone but you and Officer Vakarian had arrived," EDI explained as her blue orb appeared in the center of the table.

"Thank you EDI, that will be all," Shepard said as she glared at Miranda. "Lawson, you will be on latrine duty for the next week. During that time, you will not be recognized as the XO. The title moves to Vakarian until I reinstate you to your duties. Is that understood?"

The silence in the room was palpable.

"Yes Commander," Miranda bit out.

"Nothing will be kept from me on my own ship, do I make myself clear?" She looked around as everyone stayed silent. "I said do I make myself clear damn it!"

"Yes ma'am," came back as a soft chorus.

Garrus couldn't help the small grin that came to his face as he took a seat close to the door. He was XO while they were on shore leave. He had an idea of how much Miranda hated Shepard at that moment. He just couldn't bring himself to care about the xenophobic Cerberus brat and her feelings.

Shepard quickly got to work. She explained that they were heading to the Citadel for shore leave and would be docking there for four days. No one was to stay on the Normandy through leave but could return there after 1900 for rest. Everyone needed the opportunity to go rest and finish some last minute business before they hit the Omega-4 relay. If anyone had a special request or any unfinished business that was somewhere other than the Citadel to come speak to her after shore leave and she would see to it they were taken care of.

"Any questions?" Shepard asked, her arms crossed once more.

"If I may speak to in private after we are adjourned Commander," Thane said gently.

"Of course Thane," She smiled brightly at him. Garrus couldn't help the wave of jealousy that rolled through him. "Anyone else?"

When no one answered, Shepard dismissed them all. She looked to Garrus and gave him a small smile that spoke for her. She knew Garrus had wanted to discuss shore leave with her, more specifically how the two of them were going to celebrate her birthday on the last day without the rest of the crew finding out, but Thane was no doubt about to start in on the ladies' plan on getting herself and Garrus together. Garrus stood, placing his hand lightly on her shoulder before leaving the room.

The two of them missed the exchange of looks between Tali, Kasumi, and Samara. Tali began to fiddle with her omni-tool as she walked out. Only the Thief and the Justicar knew she was hacking the audio system in the room.

"What did you want to talk about Thane?" Shepard asked once the last of the ground crew had filed out.

"Let me be brief and to the point Shepard," Thane said softly as he approached her. "I have come to care for you dearly. I would like to spend just one evening with you during this, our last shore leave. Dinner together before dancing."

Shepard flushed a most violent shade of red. She had been prepared for Thane to make his move but she did not imagine he would be so forward about it. It seemed Death can make a man of any species move quickly, even if he isn't truly interested. She took a minute to gather her wits about her again.

"I can't dance?" She replied, trying to sound convincing.

"Perhaps not in a club or a bar, but what about ballroom? I have seen the grace with which you move Shepard," Thane stated lightly. "I am asking for nothing more than one evening to enjoy your company and show you my affection."

"Alright Thane," Shepard muttered. "One night. We'll have dinner, a drink, and dance. Enjoy each other's company."

"Thank you Shia, you will not regret this. Meet me on the Presidium tonight at 1930 for dinner."

When Shepard looked up, Thane was gone. She hated when he pulled that ninja crap around her. She made her way out of the comm room quickly and headed straight for the elevator. She didn't notice the eyes of one of her crew members on her, nor did she hear the ping of an omni-tool message being sent.

_Thane has made his move. No doubt Shepard is heading to her room to talk to Garrus about it. She looks like she's in a hurry. T is working on getting us an audio feed from her room, but it may take some time. It appears Garrus has removed all the bugs from her private quarters._   
_-K_

* * *

 

The battery was silent except for the quiet hum of the Thanix cannon. Garrus sat on his cot, brooding about Thane. He knew he was there because the women had talked him into flirting with Shepard and nothing more. It didn't stop his blood from roaring with jealousy. Thane was Shepard's friend. She had no romantic interest in the Drell. Garrus knew that. It was simply eating him alive to know that another man would be with her.

Garrus couldn't help but jump when his omni-tool pinged.

_Come to my room. NOW. I don't care what you're doing, what needs "calibrating," just get here now._   
_-Jane_

He quickly got up from his cot. He shook his head to dispel any lingering thoughts of Thane's hands on Shepard as he walked out of the main battery and quickly made his way to the elevator. He pressed the call button and waited. Garrus paused for a moment. He could hear a faint 'click' near him. He looked to his right and caught a slight shimmer of a cloaking barrier. He nearly chuckled; the girls were going all out on this.

When the elevator arrived, Garrus quickly stepped inside and his the 'close door' button to prevent Kasumi from following him up. He heard an angry hiss in a language his translator could not pick up and he laughed then let a sigh go. Garrus wasn't sure how long he could keep the facade going. He knew that by the end of shore leave he and Shepard would no longer be friends. He just wasn't sure how their relationship would change. The unknown worried him, frightened him a little even. Shepard was too important to him to lose over something as insignificant as his crush on her.

As soon as the elevator stopped, Garrus was out of it and inputting the passcode to Shepard's door. The door opened and he felt her hand on his arm. She pulled him inside and locked down her room. Shepard crossed the room in a few long strides and reached for her bottle of sherry. Garrus chuckled and walked up behind her. He pressed against her slightly as he grabbed her bottle for her then reached for his own. He felt her breath hitch as he pressed into her. He forced himself to take a step back so he could pour a drink.

"Apparently, someone needs to talk," Garrus commented, amusement ringing in his voice.

"Someone needs to pour me a drink while I tell them what the hell just happened," Shepard bit back with a shaky grin.

"Alright, alright. Start talking then," He replied as he started to pour their drinks.

"Thane just asked me on a date," She said quickly before she took her glass off the table and sat on the couch. "We're going out for dinner and dancing once we dock."

Garrus almost snarled. Thane's hands would be all over her, touching what should be his. He closed his eyes for a moment to try to gather his logic but his mind assaulted him with images of Thane holding Shepard as they dance. He picked up his drink and drank it down in one gulp. He shuddered for a moment before he poured another and joined her on the couch.

"How does he know I can ballroom dance?" She cried after she took a long drink. "Better still, how does Miranda? I know she had to be the one to tell him!"

"It's in your file Jane. Everything is if someone knows where to look for it," Garrus replied gently.

"Well it shouldn't be. Why would anyone care that I took ballroom classes growing up? I don't understand how that's important."

"Everything about you is important," He stated before he could stop himself.  _Spirits you are every bit the idiot your father ever told you that you were._

"You always know what to say," She said lightly. Her face wasn't as flushed as it was before and her smile looked more honest. "I own one nice dress other than the one Kasumi gave me for her little side mission we'll be doing after shore leave. Will you give me an honest opinion of it? Especially since it's suppose to be you that gets jealous over seeing me in it while on Thane's arm."

"Of course. I'd be happy to," Garrus said, his mandibles tight. _Pretending to be jealous is going to be easier than she thinks. Not killing Thane will be far more difficult._

Shepard smiled brightly at him as she set her drink down. She jumped up and hurried to her small closet space. She pulled out a dress that was nearly as long as she was tall before she hurried into the bathroom. Garrus set back against the couch and sighed. He just wanted to skip tonight and move on to her birthday. A night of her all to himself. He was selfish, he knew that, but he needed the time alone with her as much as she did.

Only a few minutes had passed before he heard the bathroom door open. Garrus looked over and his heart stopped. His eyes grew wide as he took in the sight of her. Shepard was beautiful in the floor length fitted dress. The top was tight, he wasn't entirely sure how she could breathe, and it cinched her waist to make it even smaller. The bottom flared slightly and accented her hips and long legs. The color was a very familiar blue. He couldn't quite place it. After a few moments he realized what it was.

The dress was the same color as his markings.

Garrus couldn't help but think how perfect the color of his clan markings looked on her.

He had never been more turned on in his entire life either.

"I look ridiculous, don't I?" Shepard asked softly. "That's why you're looking at me that way isn't it."

"Spirits no," Garrus breathed out. "You look stunning Jane."

His talons ached to reach out and touch her, to bunch the bottom of the dress up at her hips and bend her over every surface in her room. Garrus wanted her to know she was wearing his color and he never wanted to see another on her. That she belonged with him. She belonged to him.

"Okay, because you were freaking me out," Shepard said as she turned slowly to show him the back. It was laced tight and the bottom fell over her ass in the most delicious way possible in Garrus's opinion. "I couldn't help but think of you when I chose the color."

"Of course not, it's the same color as my clan markings after all," Garrus paused to clear his throat. The low rumble that had come out caused Shepard to flush from her cheeks to the tops of her breasts. "Thane will have a hard time keeping his hands to himself."

"You are too good at this "acting jealous" thing Garrus. Keep staring at me like that and I might think you'd rather be on this date with me than Thane," She gave him a wink and went back into the bathroom to change.

Garrus sat back against the couch and downed the last of his brandy in a hurry.

_You have no idea Jane. Absolutely no idea how much I want you to be on my arm rather than his tonight._


	3. Of Blackmail and Trickery

Joker was bored.

It was never a good thing to let Joker be bored. That was how he got into trouble. Especially when that damned AI was spying on him constantly.

He couldn't help that he rarely left the cockpit. Someone had to drive the ship after all. He just wanted to at least be let in on what was going on in the rest of the ship. It didn't take him long to realize most of the ship was bugged, and what wasn't bugged he figured he really didn't want to hear in the first place.

So there Joker sat in the cockpit of the Normandy with a set of headphones in as he listened to the conversation that had gone on in the comm room. He had asked EDI to disobey Miranda's orders because Shepard would have been pissed and, surprisingly, EDI had agreed to it.

Maybe she wasn't so bad after all.

"Jeff, the Commander has been attempting to contact you for the last ten minutes. She is on her way to the cockpit now to speak to you," EDI stated as her blue orb popped into view.

"Jesus, way to scare a guy half to death!" Joker yelled as he ripped his headphones out of his ears.

"Then maybe you should be listening to the comm rather than porn while you're in the cockpit," came an amused reply.

"Sorry Commander, I was just listening to the conversation the ground team was having yesterday before briefing," Joker said softer than usual. "You know, nothing important."

"EDI said Miranda told he-" Shepard said quickly.

"And I asked her kindly to keep it recording anyway," Joker cut her off as he put his finger over his lips to tell her to quiet down. "Apparently she likes me more than Lawson."

"Jeff, you do know that I am not capable of human emotion correct?" EDI's blue orb flickered in the corner.

"Yes EDI, it's an expression," Joker hissed with a sigh.

"I want a copy of that recording, now Joker," Shepard hissed. "Please."

Joker couldn't help but grin at Shepard. He had already sent her a copy, he had known she would want to hear exactly what happened, but he wasn't about to let her get out of it that easily.

"Make it worth my while Commander."

"I'll pay for an asari escort for you while we're at the Citadel, all four days, only if you give me the audio file and any other information you gather or have gather about the crew trying to get me and Garrus together," Shepard replied quickly and quietly. She really did not want to be heard bribing her own crew. Even if it was just Joker.

"It's already in your inbox ma'am," Joker said with a laugh. "Pleasure doing business with you."

Shepard laughed and started to walk away. She felt a gentle touch on her arm. She turned back to look down at Joker and saw what was, no doubt, the most serious look she had ever seen on his face.

"For what it's worth Jane, you deserve to be happy," He said as he looked up at her. "I know Captain Stick-Up-His-Ass makes you happy. So don't over think it, okay?"

"Thanks Jeff," Her gaze softened. He really was the brother she never had. "It means a lot to me."

"I know," He gave her a soft smile and let go of her arm. "Oh, and you might want to check out the feed from the battery sometime. Garrus shut it down, but not before I got my hands on some of the greatest blackmail this side of the Omega-4 relay."

"Send it to me," Shepard said with a wicked grin as she walked away.

"Aye-aye Commander. ETA 3 hours to the Citadel."

* * *

 

Those three hours had been the longest three hours of Garrus's life thus far.

He just could not get his mind off of Shepard in that beautiful blue dress. His heart leaped at the thought of her wearing the color of his markings. It made his whole body cry out with the desire to take her, prove that she was his. The dress hugged her like only a lover should, as only he should. No doubt the way Thane would be holding her as they danced later tonight. His thoughts turned murderous in an instant.

_I will not kill him for doing his job. It is not Thane's fault. It's my own fault for allowing myself to become possessive of someone that isn't even mine in the first place._

Garrus couldn't help but wince at the ache in his chest at the thought. He was an idiot to agree to Shepard's plan of "playing along." He knew it would hurt to watch her with someone else, like it had when they were on the SR-1 and Kaiden was chasing after her.

The only night worse than the night before Ilos was the night he found out she had gone down with the SR-1.

Garrus was pulled from his thoughts by a knock on the battery door. He shook his head to hide his anger and sadness. He did not want anyone to see the mess he had let himself become over Shepard. He stepped back from his terminal after he saved the algorithm he had been working on. He walked over to the door and opened it to see Kelly standing there.

"Hello Chambers," Garrus said carefully. "Did you need something?"

"Hi Garrus, and please I keep telling you to call me Kelly," She answered brightly. Her hair had grown out some since he had first joined the Normandy crew and it was styled similar to Shepard's hair. He knew then that she was here to ask him out, just like Thane had asked Shepard.

"Alright Kelly, what do you need?" He asked gently. He didn't want to scare her off, not when it was his turn to see if he could make Shepard feel the same stab of jealousy he had felt.

"I was wondering," She started and bit her lip. Smart girl was even using Shepard's mannerisms to work him over. He had to give the yeoman credit. "if you would join me for dinner tonight."

"Just the two of us?"

"Yes," She said as her cheeks turned a faint pink. "I've always thought you were attractive and I figured that the worst that could happen would be you telling me no."

"I think I would enjoy that Kelly," He said in the same gentle tone. "I'll meet you on the Presidium at 1930, okay?"

"Perfect!" Kelly gave him a bright smile and started off. "Wear something nice, okay? Dinner is on Cerberus tonight!"

With that she was gone. Garrus let out the breath he was holding. Once this was all over, he would have to applaud the ladies on their research. They had fixed Kelly up to look similar to Shepard and told her just how to stand and act. Told her to be demure enough to be appealing without being a wilting flower. He was impressed to say the least.

Garrus pulled up his omni-tool and sent Shepard a quick message.

_It seems I've been set up finally. Kelly just asked me to dinner this evening. Ready to act jealous? I mean, who wouldn't be jealous that she gets to have me for the night?_   
_\- Garrus_

* * *

 

Shepard faintly heard her omni-tool ping at her. She couldn't be bothered to check it however. She had just finished listening to what her ground crew had to say on the matter of her and Garrus getting together and her mind was still reeling from it. How the entire crew could see how badly she wanted him Shepard was sure she would never know. A flare of embarrassment rushed through her. If all of them could see it, had the crew on the SR-1 figured it out? Were Wrex, Liara, and even Kaiden wondering if she was in a relationship with Garrus now?

The whole thing made her head hurt and her heart ache slightly.

After a few minutes of collecting her thoughts, she pulled up the video/audio clip Joker had sent her of his "blackmail" on Garrus. Shepard had no doubt it would be entertaining, and she needed a good laugh. While it loaded, she finally opened her message. It was from Garrus.

_It seems I've been set up finally. Kelly just asked me to dinner this evening. Ready to act jealous? I mean, who wouldn't be jealous that she gets to have me for the night?_   
_\- Garrus_

White hot jealousy and possessiveness rushed through her like nothing she had ever felt. Shepard had known this was coming. She knew that Kelly was going to be the one to ask Garrus out in an attempt to make her jealous. Shepard just hadn't known how well it would work.

_I don't know Garrus. May not be as hard as you think. Remember, Wrex is pretty sure I'm part Krogan after all._   
_\- Jane_

"Jane," came a flanging sigh.

Shepard looked up at the screen of her private terminal. Her jaw dropped at what was playing in front of her own two eyes.

There was Garrus, laying on his cot in the main battery. The blankets were strewn about and they had left his body vulnerable to view. He was completely naked, a view Shepard had never had before. His right hand was moving in such a way there was no doubt what he was up to.

He was jerking off, and if the sounds of the name spilling from his lips was any indication, to images of her.

She heard his breath hitch slightly and he moaned her name. Shepard felt herself blush from head to toe. She had never been so embarrassed about anything. If Shepard had to be honest, she had never been this turned on either. She heard her omni-tool ping again and swore under her breath as she opened the message.

_So you do have a weakness for the scars, huh? Every woman loves a badass Jane. I knew you'd come around eventually. I mean, who can resist this?_   
_\- Garrus_

"Oh you have no idea how right you are at the moment," She muttered as she typed a quick reply, her eyes hardly leaving the screen.

_Good thing Kelly looks enough like me you can pretend, huh? The only thing harder to resist than you is me. The only thing hotter than Archangel is the Savior of the Citadel. Just ask Thane._   
_\- Jane_

Before she could even close her omni-tool she heard it ping again. She let loose a growl of frustration. Couldn't a girl watch the object of her affection masterbate in peace?

_Have you been huffing Red Sand again woman? Nothing is hotter than Archangel. Just ask Kelly._   
_\- Garrus_

Shepard refused to answer him this time. She took off her omni-tool after she quickly closed it down. She paused the recording so that she could check the door. It was security locked and she encrypted it so even Garrus couldn't get in. She sat back down and started the recording again.

All Shepard needed was just a little stress relief before playing a game of jealousy on the Citadel. The video would have to do.

* * *

 

The Normandy docked right at 1800, just as Joker had promised Shepard. He never failed to make a dock time. Though, this once, Shepard would have been happy to see him be late.

She stood in front of her bathroom mirror as she applied the small amount of makeup she had borrowed from Kasumi. She honestly owned none of her own makeup but had no doubt the thief would have some for her. She had even offered to help Shepard put it all on but she politely declined before bolting through the door and up to her room.

Shepard had already applied a faint layer of foundation before she picked up the small pot of shimmering cobalt eyeshadow that Kasumi had given her. She didn't bother to ask how Kasumi had known what color she needed, she was simply thankful for it. Satisfied with her appearance, she dabbed on a small amount of color to tint her lip and touched up her hair.

As she stepped out of the bathroom she heard her door open. Shepard came around the corner to see Garrus in her doorway.

"Wow," she breathed out before she had even truly thought it.

Garrus looked wonderful as his eyes shot to meet her own. Shepard had not know that he even owned anything so nice anymore. His cowl was adorned in a Turian version of a tuxedo collar that swept over his shoulders and hung down both the front and back. It was the same blue as her dress, and therefore his markings. Under it was a tunic of black with faint gray pinstripes that matched his pants.

"See something you like Jane?" Garrus said, his voice a low rumble as he chuckled. "I told you, I knew you'd come around."

"See if I ever complement you again. Your ego is the size of Palaven already," Shepard shot back and she went to get her heels. "We may not be able to get that big head of yours into the battery anymore. Then where would you do your "calibrations," hm?"

"Hey Commander!" came Joker's voice over the comm.

"Yes Joker?" She replied as she stepped into her shoes. She could feel Garrus watching her.

"You asked me to let you know when it was 1900, so here's your alarm," He quipped. "Also, be careful. I think someone reactivated the audio bug in your room. I'm having EDI do a scan for it now."

"Thank you Joker," She smiled and it was clear in her voice. "Get off the ship and go see that date I got for you."

"Aye aye ma'am!"

Shepard laughed as she looked over at Garrus. He loved the sound of it. She sounded so carefree, as though for just that moment the weight of the known universe wasn't on her shoulders. He wanted her to feel like that more.

"Jane," He started gently. "You really do look beautiful. Thane truly is a lucky man tonight."

Shepard opened her mouth to speak but Garrus simply turned and walked out of the room. Surely he hadn't come all the way up just to tell her that, did he? It was too late; he had already gotten on the elevator.

"Well, I guess it's show time," She said to herself before walking out the door and into the elevator.

Shepard really had not been expecting any of the crew to still be onboard the ship when she left. She should have known that some of them would wait to see what she looked like as a woman rather than a soldier. She wanted nothing more than to curl up and die on the spot. Reapers she could deal with any day of the week. Romance and being feminine, not quite so easy.

"Ah, Commander, you look stunning," Samara said gently from across the room. "That shade of blue is very becoming."

"Um, thank you Samara," Shepard nearly squeaked. "If you all will excuse me, I have to meet my, um, my date."

"Shep, have fun with Garrus! Don't do anything I would do!" Jack yelled as she cackled.

"It's not Garrus," She replied. "It's Thane. Garrus is having dinner with Kelly."

The whole of the room went silent. Either they had practiced well, or had not expected her to say it. Or was it the tone she used? Shepard realized how sad she had sounded and sighed.

"Shepard," Tali started.

"Please get off the ship and enjoy our last shore leave," Shepard stated, more resolute than before. She didn't want to hear what Tali had to say, or anyone else for that matter. "Again, if you'll excuse me."

Shepard quickly made her way out the docking bay door and out onto the Presidium. Before she realized it she was at almost a dead sprint as she tried to get away from the Normandy, as well as her own feelings. She came to a sudden stop as she crashed into someone, both of them falling to the ground. She looked under her to see fair skin and red-blonde hair.

"Oh no, Commander are you okay?" Kelly asked with concern.

"I suppose I should ask you the same," Shepard said as she got up and offered a hand to Kelly. "I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No, I'm alright," Kelly replied with a smile as Shepard helped her up. "You seem to be in a hurry."

"It's nothing I want to talk about Kelly, least of all with you," Shepard stated. "No offence but it's not something I can talk about."

Kelly simply smiled at her and nodded with understanding. She reached up and fixed her earring, quickly trying to make sure the audio device was still intact. Once she did, Kelly noticed Garrus coming their way. She gave him a bright smile, not quite until Shepard's own, and started towards him.

"It would seem my date is here," She said kindly. "Have a good time tonight Commander. You deserve it."

All Shepard could do was nod mutely as she watched Kelly walk over and take hold of the arm Garrus offered to her. She could taste the bile in the back of her throat and the sting in her eyes. She would not let Kelly take Garrus from her. She took two steps towards them before she spotted Thane coming toward her.

"Hello Thane," Shepard said with a soft smile as she bit back the jealous rage that pulsed inside her.

"Siha, you look beautiful," Thane offered his hand to her. She gently placed it in his and let him lead her off as she took one last glance at Garrus and Kelly's retreating figures. "Ready to enjoy our evening?"

"As ready as I could ever be Thane."


	4. Of Dates and Dancing

 

Shepard had not been somewhere so nice to eat since she was a child. Her parents were high ranking military officials in the Alliance. She had been raised to be the perfect soldier's bride until she was sixteen and began to speak her mind. Two years later she enlisted and never once looked back. Her mother had been disappointed, she had not wanted her "little princess" to be a hardened soldier like she was, but her father had never been so proud.

She had taken classes on etiquette, history, religion, interspecies politics, and ballroom dancing as she grew up. She even learned to be as feminine as possible, forced into ballgowns and makeup, all to be made into something perfect that she had never really wanted in the first place. Shepard couldn't help but think back on her upbringing when she allowed Thane to lead her into the restaurant. There was a clear dress code there and she was suddenly very thankful that she had purchased the gown she was wearing, at the advice of Liara, just a few short weeks ago on Illium.

She also couldn't help thinking that Liara had been in on this game of "Get Shepard and Garrus together" the whole time.

The two of them turned heads as they were lead to their seats by the maitre d'hotel. The entire place was too over-the-top, too extravagant, for her tastes. Shepard had never liked the way people who attended these place behaved. As if they're inherited or stolen wealth made them better than the poor that sat in the wards, wondering where their next meal was to come from. These "rich" people were no better than anyone else; it fact they were worse than most.

"Look at those scars!" She heard a human woman whisper as she and Thane passed their table. "I would never come out in public again if I looked like that."

"My date," Thane started slowly and softly as he paused his stride. "is a war hero and a legend amongst your people. She is Spectre and Commander Jane Shepard. You will do well to remember that the next time you attempt to insult her. Besides, she is far more beautiful than you could hope to be."

Shepard blushed a faint red. She really needed to get a grip on herself. She was not some teenage girl and she refused to allow herself to blush anymore. She heard the woman begin to sputter as Thane led her away once more. They were seated and offered the menu to look over while they awaited the waiter.

"Thane," Shepard said softly. "What possessed you to bring me here?"

"You deserve the finest things the universe has to offer, Siha," He said as if that explained it all. He adjusted his coat jacket.

"Are you wearing an audio bug?" She still spoke in a quiet tone.

"I have just shut it off. You can speak freely for about two minutes before they realize I have turned off their sound."

"Oh thank the spirits," Shepard said as she let go the breath she had been holding. "You are no fool Thane. Why did you really do this? Are you helping the girls?"

"I warned them you would know that you were being deceived," Thane said methodically. "I also warned Lawson I would be forthcoming once they were discovered. Yes, I am aiding them in their venture. However, it does seem to be working well. Vakarian looks as though he will murder me in my sleep if given half a chance to do so."

"I care greatly for him Thane. Too much to risk losing him as a friend for the chance of one night of bliss," She replied sadly. "He is my best friend. He... He was not only the last thing I thought about before I... I died but the first thing I thought about after I had woken up."

"Do not let this pass you by," Thane said gently. "He is in love with you, of that I am certain. He looks at you just as I looked at my beloved wife."

She nodded mutely and let the silence linger for a few moments. Shepard looked deep into the drell's eyes and saw nothing but the truth reflected in them.

"One last question," She said with a small smile. "What does 'Siha' mean?"

"Siha is one of the warrior-angels of the goddess Arashu. She is fierce in wrath, a tenacious protector," He replied with a small smile. "You are the embodiment of her. It is easy to see why Vakarian is in love with you. In another life, perhaps I could have loved you as well."

"Thank you Thane," She replied after a few moments. She needed a moment to fight back the creeping blush that was making its way up her neck. "We're out of time."

Thane nodded. He adjusted his dress coat once more and brought the audio feed back online. He was thankful that he had refused the earpiece that the woman had tried to force upon him. He had not wanted to listen to their constant chatter in his ear.

* * *

"Kelly, why do you keep playing with your earring?" Garrus asked gently.

"Oh, um, no reason," Kelly replied shyly. "Guess I'm just nervous."

The two of them entered the same lavish spot Shepard and Thane had walked into not long before. Garrus could already tell Kelly was uncomfortable, not only with the location but with the farce of a date they were on. He led her in as they followed their host to a table. Garrus glanced around out of habit and nearly tripped over his own two feet when he saw it.

There, not two tables away from where he and Kelly were being seated, were Shepard and Thane. The two of them looked comfortable and appeared to be enjoying themselves. Garrus couldn't help but feel his stomach sink to his feet. He thought for a moment he might get sick but he fought back the wave of nausea that hit him. Garrus forced himself to be as cordial as possible. He pulled out Kelly's seat for her before taking his own.

"Let me see your earring please," Garrus said gently.

"Why?" Kelly asked, sounding a bit panicked. She could hear Kasumi almost yelling in her ear to not let him have it.

"Just let me see it," He said a little more forcefully.

Kelly's eyes widened slightly as she nodded and took the earring off. Kasumi and Tali both were screaming in her ear to take it back before he shut it down. She handed it to him and he quickly found the switch next to the post where the earring sat in her earlobe.

"Now I can speak frankly," Garrus sounded far kinder now. "I know what all of you are doing. Shepard and I both know."

"Shit," Kelly muttered. "I told them I wasn't cut out for this. I mean, I wasn't kidding when I said you were attractive but I can't do espionage."

"Calm down," Garrus patted her hand with a chuckle. "We knew the whole time. She wanted to play along with it, and I'm indulging her."

"So wait, you two are already together?" Kelly was confused. Surely she of all people would have noticed such a thing.

"Spirits no. Are you dense?" Garrus said sullenly. "I don't deserve her. I hardly deserve her friendship."

" **You**  are the one who's dense Garrus," Kelly said in a sharp tone. "I'm the ship psychologist, remember? I know how to read people. Tell her you love her. She loves you too. Just don't let her back out of it."

Garrus couldn't help the look he gave her as he turned the audio bug back on and handed Kelly her earring back.

"It's a beautiful stone," Garrus comment lightly. "It reminds me of Palaven."

"That's because it's a sapphire from Palaven," Kelly said, her voice a little more flirty than before.

Garrus couldn't help but chuckle at her. She was far more calm now that she knew both he and Shepard were aware of what was going on. He glanced over to where Shepard was seated with Thane. He bit back a growl when Thane placed his hand on Shepard's. Kelly giggled and Garrus's eyes shot to her.

"She certainly does look beautiful tonight," Kelly said softly. "Even after everything she's been through, our Commander has to be one of the most beautiful women I've ever met."

"She  **is**  the most beautiful woman I've ever met," Garrus said softly.

"Sounds like you'd rather be out with her than me," Kelly teased. "I understand if you do. You two have quite a history."

"Shepard is my best friend," He said simply, as if that explained it all.

* * *

"This is getting too good Tali," Kasumi stated as she listened to Kelly's audio feed from a table not far from the front doors of the restaurant. "Kelly is playing Garrus well."

"How are you so sure that they are not playing us?" Tali asked from across the table. "I honestly think they know what is really going on here, and are simply mocking us at this point."

"Even if they know, their jealousy is growing with every moment," She replied as she pulled up her omni-tool.

"Letting the others know what is going on?"

"But of course," Kasumi said as she began to type.

_Mission may be compromised. T is certain that Shepard and Garrus are aware that they are being had. However, despite that, things look promising. They are watching each other when the other isn't looking, and all they are talking about is each other. Neither of them are wired so they are not coordinating anything. We will keep you posted._   
_\- K_

"Kasumi, are Miranda and Samara ready at the dance hall for them?" Tali asked as she checked her omni-tool again to ensure none of her audio and video equipment had been tampered with. "We'll meet them there when we finish here."

"Hai, they're ready for us," Kasumi said quickly as her own omni-tool pinged.

_We are prepared for the arrival of both pairs. All equipment is in place as requested. Please inform us when they are making their way towards us._   
_-S_

"Good. Now let's hope they don't doing anything stupid," Tali said lightly. "They both have a temper and I would hate to see them get kicked out."

* * *

"Excuse me, what?"

"I said, let's go dancing Garrus," Kelly repeated slowly as they made their way out of the restaurant.

 _ **Good work Chambers, keep him talking so he doesn't realize you're leading him to the dance hall**_ , she heard Miranda over her ear piece.

"I don't dance Kelly," Garrus stated.

"Have you even tried ballroom?" Kelly asked, sounding far more like Shepard than Garrus cared for.

"Ah, once," He muttered. "Shepard tried to teach me."

Kelly sighed and tried to keep the conversation moving as she lead Garrus to the dance hall where Thane and Shepard were. Garrus had his mandibles drawn tight. She knew she would have to goad him into speaking.

"It's just as well," She said with a bit of a pretentious tone in her voice. "Perhaps I should have asked Thane out instead. I bet he's showing the Commander a wonderful time with his dancing skills."

"Excuse me?" Garrus almost tripped over thin air. Had Kelly, the kind shy young woman, just pulled that on him? Spirits damn her.

"You heard me. Maybe I'll ask her if I can borrow Thane for a dance or two."

She could hear Garrus growl and nearly turned tail at the sound. The last thing she wanted to deal with was an angry, possessive Turian.

"No need for that," Garrus said carefully. "Come, let's go dance."

Kelly didn't say another word. She quickly lead him to the dance hall on the other side of the Presidium. It wasn't hard to find; the beautiful music that flowed from the door was easy enough to hear. They were, however, surprised to see the crowd that had gathered outside the glass walls near the doorway. As they neared, both could hear catcalls and Garrus even heard the familiar voice of Jacob shouting at someone.

"Damn Shepard!" Jacob cried out with a grin. He looked over and saw Kelly with Garrus and grinned. "Who knew Shepard could dance like that? Thane's got her going the Tango!"

"The what?" Garrus asked as he looked over everyone to try and spot Shepard.

"The Tango. It's a classic dance from Earth and it's become very popular among many sentient races. It's a rather difficult, and very sensual, type of dance. Lots of pressing close, hands all over one another..." Kelly explained, her voice trailing off as she smirked a little. Garrus was making this too easy.

There in the middle of the dance floor were Thane and Shepard. Her left leg, long and powerful, was wrapped around Thane's thigh as she pressed against him while their right legs ran against one another. They leaned into the move as Thane snaked his hands down the inside of Shepard's arms and grabbed her hips. He dipped her back, her arms raised above her head and they fell in perfect time with the rest of her upper body. She lifted her left leg up as Thane pulled them up into a standing position. He spun her around and, as her left foot hit the ground, pulled her against his chest. Shepard looked up and her eyes bright green eyes met with Garrus's own piercing blue. Garrus watched as her eyes darkened and she bit her lip while she gazed at him.

 _I need her, Spirits I need her in the worst way right now. I don't care what happens, if it ruins our friendship or not, I have to make her mine._  Garrus stopped that line of thought quickly. He could not ruin what was left of their friendship. No matter how much it hurt. _No! I have to leave before I make an idiot of myself._

Thane spun Shepard around once more and caught her hands. She pulled one out of his grasp and placed it on his chest. Once more she wrapped that leg around him, this time at the hip, before pushing herself off of him. She spun around and away, his left hand still holding her right hand firmly. Thane pulled her back to him and caught her free hand in his own. Shepard pressed against him for only a moment before she slid her legs, her left one straight as she bend her left knee, and dipped.

The music came to an end while the entirety of the hall and the audience outside the doors burst into applause. Garrus snapped out of his daze at the sound but could not bring himself to clap as well.

"Kelly," Garrus started slowly.

"Let me guess, you don't want to dance anymore?" Kelly said with a pout.

"I'm going back to the Normandy. Tell the girls they've won their twisted game. I want nothing more to do with this," Garrus turned and walked off quickly.

Kelly opened her mouth to say something, anything, to try and stop him. He was gone so quickly she didn't know what to do. Jacob looked over and shook his head.

"Well, it seems this may have gone too far," Kelly murmured, knowing she would be heard through her earring audio device. She let out a sigh before she ran off after him. "Garrus, wait!"

 _ **Maybe so, but perhaps that is what the two of them were in need of**_ , Samara commented.

 _ **I can only hope they don't hate us once this is all said and done**_ , came Tali's reply.

Shepard pushed her way through the crowd. She needed to find Garrus. They needed to talk about what was going on, the subtle shift that had started to change their relationship. She needed to tell him the truth: that she had been using this whole situation to figure out if he felt the same way as she did. She could hear Thane behind her but he was making no attempt to stop her. Shepard came to a stop at the back of the crowd and looked around. He had just been there; where the hell could he have gone?

"He left Commander," Jacob said. Shepard's eyes snapped toward him. "After you two stopped dancing he took off. Said he was heading back to the Normandy and told Chambers to tell the girls they've won their twisted game."

"Damn it all!" Shepard turned to Thane. "Thank you, for everything Thane."

"It was my pleasure Siha," Thane said with a soft smile. "Now go, before Vakarian shuts himself down to you."

Shepard nodded and gave Thane a quick hug. She tore off, kicking her shoes off as she went because there was no way in Hell she was going to catch Garrus in four inch heels. She bunched her dress up to her knees to make it easier to move. As she ran, she scanned every corner she passed in hope of seeing him.

"Commander!" She heard someone cry. Shepard came to a halt and looked over to see Kelly. The yeoman hurried to her side. "Commander, he's so angry right now, I don't think it's safe for you to see him."

"Chambers, no matter what happens, Garrus is my best friend," Shepard said between breaths. Running in a dress with a corset was the worst idea she had had to date. "I have to make this right. Can you do me a favor?"

"Yes, anything Commander."

"Tell the girls I said thank you, and that they're all scrubbing the ship top-to-bottom the last day of shore leave," Shepard said with a smile. "That includes you Chambers."

"Yes ma'am," Kelly said with a sigh as she pulled out the earpiece she had. "They can hear you. They're not pleased, but you know it will get done. Good luck Commander."

"Thank you Chambers," Shepard said with a smile before she took off again, heading right for the docking bay the Normandy was at.


	5. Of Clarity and Resolution

"Garrus!" Shepard yelled as she entered the Normandy. "Garrus Vakarian, where are you hiding?"

"XO Vakarian is in the forward battery Commander. No other crew are aboard the ship at this time," came EDI's voice over the comm system.

"Of course he is," Shepard said as she gasped for breath. Damn the corset on that dress! "Thank you EDI. Send a message to all crew that no one is to return to the ship before 0800 tomorrow morning please."

"It has been taken care of. Good luck Commander, logging you out."

Shepard quickly made her way to the main battery. She honestly had no idea what to expect when she arrived. Would he be angry with her? Would he keep his distance and try to avoid this talk they both knew needed to happen? Worry knotted in her stomach and she had to swallow down feeling that her dinner would make a second appearance. She looked at the door of the battery only to see the door was closed and the lock was red.

Garrus had locked her, and everyone else for that matter, out of the battery.

"Garrus! Damn it all you stubborn fuck, open this door!" Shepard yelled as she beat on the metal that stood between the two of them. She heard no movement and nearly growled. "EDI! Open the door to the main battery. Now!"

She watched the lock change from red to green in a matter of moments. The door hissed as it opened. There, sitting on that too small cot he called a bed, was Garrus. She had never seen him look so sad in all the time they had know each other. He did not look up as he heard the soft pat of her feet as she walked toward him.

"Garrus," Shepard started. Her voice sounded weak and unsure. "We need to talk. Please, come with me to my room."

Without a word he stood up. Garrus still would not look at her. Shepard could feel the pin prick of tears behind her eyes and blink hard to hold them back. She would not cry, no matter what happened. Not where he could see or hear her at least. She turned and walked out of the battery, knowing he would follow. She had made sure it hadn't sounded like an order, but Garrus was never one to tell her no.

They walked in silence to the elevator. The ride to her room was painfully quiet and Shepard couldn't help but think that Cerberus could rebuild her and the Normandy but they couldn't make the elevator any faster. She nearly snorted at the thought but she did not want to break the silence. Finally the elevator came to a stop and she exited first so she could enter the code to get into her room. She snarled at it when it beeped at her that the code was wrong. She tried again and it refused her entry. Garrus leaned past her, careful not to touch her, and input the code. The door opened with a hiss and she muttered a soft thanks. He nodded his acknowledgement and followed her in. He took his spot on her couch.

"What do you wish to talk about Shepard?" Garrus said gently.

"I'm Shepard again? We're in private Garrus. You know to call me Jane here," Shepard choked out softly.

"Not tonight. I, just, not tonight," Garrus finished lamely.

"Why?" Shepard asked as she walked to her desk, the sherry and scotch still there from earlier.

"I just can't Shepard," He replied as he rubbed his eyes with his left hand.

"You looked like you enjoyed dinner with Kelly," She commented, trying to keep it light but coming across as slightly bitter. She quickly poured them both a drink and handed Garrus his before sitting next to him.

"Did you enjoy your date with Thane?" It was out of his mouth before he had even processed the thought. It came out sharper than he intended, jealousy already tenting his voice at the thought and images that single sentence brought to mind.

_Spirits, get it together Garrus. She's not your lover, she's your best friend. As much as you would like that to change it won't._

"Do I hear... jealousy from you Garrus?" Shepard asked softly. "Real jealousy?"

Garrus wanted to get defensive. He wanted to say no, that he was just concerned for her because he didn't trust the drell yet. He wanted to say that there was no reason for him to feel jealous because they were best friends and nothing more. Garrus wanted to tell her she was delusional for even thinking he would be jealous. He wanted to make a joke about how soft and squishy she was and how he was attracted to sharp angles and glimmering plates.

His mouth didn't agree with what he wanted.

"Do you want me to be jealous of the drell Jane?" His eyes widened slightly when his voice reached his ears. He felt the couch shift and finally looked down at her.

Shepard sat up tall and looked Garrus in the eyes. Her emerald eyes shimmered in the light as she looked at him. Garrus couldn't help but think how beautiful they were. She was still in that infuriating dress as well. His hands twitched as he fought the urge to grab her.

"Only as much as you wanted me to be jealous of the recon scout Garrus," Shepard said with a fiery snap. "Don't you dare deny it either. Tell me the truth. You told me about that tie breaker just to see how I would react."

"Jane," Garrus was a little taken aback at her determination. He quickly stood up and walked behind the couch. He simply could not be that close to her at that moment. "You weren't. Jealous, I mean. You looked me dead in the face and offered to spar with me."

"That wasn't what I was offering and you know it Garrus Vakarian!" She rounded on him, climbing onto her knees and standing on the couch cushions.

"No I did not Jane Shepard or I would have pinned you to the wall right then!" Garrus growled. "I've wanted you for years, you insufferable woman."

"Bullshit you did!" She yelled at him, her finger pointed. "You've never been the kind of man to sit back and let an opportunity pass you by! That's why I picked you for the mission against Saren in the first place - your stubborn streak!"

"Are you insane? How could I not want you?" He snapped. "Spirits, I've wanted you so bad it hurt to be your friend sometimes. Every time you would come down and talk to me while I worked on the Mako I want to tell you how important you are to me. Tali kept telling me you were flirting with me and I never believed her. I knew someone as good as you would never settle for me."

Garrus looked away from her. He slowly walked toward the window next to her bed and watched as the stars went by, his drink still full in his hand. He heard her mouth open and knew that some argument was coming his way over his last statement. She had always thought he was a better person than he gave himself credit for. A better person than he really was. He pressed on, not giving her a chance to speak.

"The last night we were on the Normandy, the night before Ilos, I had planned on coming to see you. If only to spend one last night around you before we headed into Hell. I had no intention of telling you how I felt. I just needed that last chance at a moment alone with you."

Shepard moved off the couch slowly. Never in the time that they had known each other had he heard him speak with such conviction. Not even about Saren. She slowly walked around the couch and reached out to him. She stopped just short, afraid of what he would do. He sounded so sad, so full of regret.

"Then, Kaidan walked into your room. I felt so hurt, for no real reason of course because you had no idea how I felt about you, and I lost all reason. I just left and spent the night alone, thinking of just how badly I wanted to rip that little biotic asshole in two. I knew I couldn't stay if we survived. Not if you were with Kaiden. I had to get away after that.

"So I went back to Spectre training, and when I failed at that again, I went back to C-Sec. I hated every moment of it. Once you get to taste the kind of freedom being Commander Shepard's six is, a desk job just won't cut it anymore."

"Nothing happened between me and Kaidan! Not a damn thing," Shepard said quickly. "I can't stand him. He's clingy and mistrusting. He questioned everything I ever did; as if I would ever be accountable to him! He could never be anything more than a friend at best. Not after I had met you!"

"I decided then I didn't care about staying quiet anymore," Garrus continued on as though he hadn't heard a word she had said. "And just when I had the nerve to tell you, you died. You died and I lived the next two damn years regretting that I was too afraid to say anything sooner. That's how I ended up on Omega, Jane. To try to forget about you, however impossible it seemed."

"You goddamn idiot," Shepard said as she set down her drink. "I _was_ flirting with you while you were working on the Mako. Every single time. As for the night before Ilos, I kicked Kaidan out of my room no sooner than he arrived. I didn't want him there, I wanted you."

"Wait, what?" Garrus said and nearly smacked himself for it.

"It's always been you Garrus. You, my best friend in the entire galaxy. The only person I truly trust," Shepard said, her voice shaking as she reached out for him. She choked on a soft sob. "You were the last thing I thought about when I died and the first thing I thought of when I woke up in that damn lab."

"Jane," Garrus said softly and grabbed her hands. He pulled her against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face in his chest while he rubbed small circles into her back. "Shh, don't be upset please. Jane I can't stand to see you cry."

"I'm sorry Garrus, I shouldn't have asked you play along with all of this," Shepard said, her voice muffled. "I should have just sat down and talked to you. I was just... scared."

"That makes two of us," He muttered softly in reply. "So, you did all of this just to get a rise out of me? Just to figure out how I felt about you?"

"Right down to strong-arming Thane into doing the Tango with me," She said with a chuckle.

"Knew you would come around," He laughed lightly. "I guess Wrex was right."

"What are you talking about?"

"When he said you were part Krogan. It's the scars, isn't it? Gets the ladies every time," Garrus replied with a smirk. He didn't want her to cry, so he pushed for that normal banter that came so easily to them.

"I'm too flexible to be part Krogan," She shot back as she looked up at him, grateful for the hint of normality between them. "I mean, you saw me on the dance floor with Thane earlier."

"He's lucky I didn't kill him."

"He didn't get to see half of how flexible I can be," She said lightly. "That is how you like your women, right?"

Garrus couldn't help but laugh, a deep rumble that made Shepard shiver. She couldn't help the mix of lust and joy that came at seeing him so carefree. Even if it was only for a few minutes.

"You're never going to let me live that down are you?"

"What?" She asked as innocently as possible. "Oh, you mean you telling me about your reach and how you tested that scout's flexibility? That would be a no. Especially because you were so adorably awkward about the whole thing."

"You meant to say "sexy" right?" He asked, his flanging voice low and warm. It made Shepard tingle and the muscles in her lower stomach tighten. "Because nothing is more sexy than Archangel."

"Really?" She raised her eyebrow at him and pulled out of his arms. As she stepped backward she reached up and started to, ever so slowly, undo the eye-and-hooks that ran down the front of her dress. "I was under the impression that nothing was sexier than the Savior of the Citadel."

"Commander," came EDI's voice. Shepard swore loudly at the sound. "I apologize for the interruption, but several members of the ground team have returned against your wishes, including Agent Lawson and Head Engineer nar Rayya."

"Thank you EDI, XO Vakarian and I will take care of it," Shepard ground out. "Where are they?"

"They are all in the mess hall Commander. Logging you out."

Garrus couldn't help but chuckle. There were few moments in all the time he had spent with Shepard that he had ever seen her so furious. They were even more rare outside of battle. He put a hand on her cheek and pressed his forehead to her own. Shepard sighed gently before pulling away.

"Ready for one last performance?" Shepard said with a grin after a few moments. She quickly redid the few eye-and-hooks she had managed to get undone.

"What are you up to now Jane?" Garrus asked, amused by the grin on her face.

"Just follow my lead, okay?" She whispered as she headed for her door.

Garrus nodded and followed her out. She got onto the elevator and headed down to the mess. She looked up at him with a smile that quickly turned into a scowl. Garrus mouthed 'what's wrong?' to which she simply winked.

"What they hell is your problem Vakarian?" Shepard yelled as they neared their destination. "First you throw a fit about Kaidan when we leave Horizon, now you storm out on your date with Kelly. I don't need a babysitter!"

"Excuse me?" Garrus growled. It took a moment for him to catch on and he shot her a quick grin as the elevator stopped. "How many times have I pulled your ass from the fire? Oh wait, you never noticed because you're too busy making eyes at Kaiden and now Thane!"

"Oh that's fucking rich Garrus," Shepard snapped as she stormed from the elevator and toward the battery. "I swear if I didn't know any better I would think you were a jealous teenager!"

"As if you're any more mature than I am!" Garrus ground out as he reached for her arm. He spun her around to look at him. "You flaunted your little pet biotic just to piss me off on the SR-1. Now you're going the same thing with the drell!"

"How about that damn recon scout, hm? I suppose that was just all in good-natured fun telling me that story," She ripped her arm out of his grip. "Maybe if you'd get your mind out of the gutter an-"

"And what Jane? Tried to get you to notice me?" He couldn't help but growl. "You are the most infuriating woman I've ever known!"

"Well, you're the most exasperating man I've ever met!" She yelled as he stormed past her and into the battery. "Don't you dare walk away from me!"

"Is that an order Shepard?" He replied snidely.

"In fact it is XO Vakarian." She said. "One more step and I'll have you locked out of the battery until further notice."

Shepard caught a movement out of the corner of her eye. No doubt the girls trying to get into Miranda's office without being noticed. Her eyes narrowed. On the inside she couldn't help but laugh; the girls had to think this was all their fault. It really was and she wanted them to learn a lesson in all this - stay out of Shepard's love life.

"Where the hell would I sleep?" He threw a glare at her over his shoulder.

"That has yet to be determined."

"Fine," Garrus walked over to the closest table and took a seat.

"Done acting like a child?" Shepard asked as she took a seat across from him. When he didn't answer, she reached across the table and touched his hand. "It seems we have a lot to talk about."

"There's nothing to talk about Shepard," Garrus said as he pulled his hand away.

"Garrus, please," She said gently. "Please call me Jane. You know I hate it when you call me Shepard."

"I don't feel like your friend right now, so I don't feel comfortable calling you Jane."

Shepard looked like she had been smacked. She stood up and walked toward Miranda's office, staring out the windows and into the vast expanse. She could hear the girls trying to stay quiet from behind the door. Despite their efforts, she could hear Tali faintly threaten Garrus's life.

"I see," She said softly. "I apologize for taking up your time XO Vakarian. You may return to the main battery whenever you wish."

"Thank you Commander," Garrus muttered as he stood up.

"I will be in my quarters. EDI, see to it that no one disturbs me. I plan to spend the rest of my shore leave there, alone." She said quickly and ran for the elevator.

"Shepard, wait!" Garrus yelled after a moment. He hurried to the elevator but she was already gone. He let out a terrible, heartbreaking sound as he punched the elevator door.

He heard the hiss of the doors to Miranda's office as they opened. Garrus put his arm against the elevator door before he propped his forehead against it with a sigh. Internally, he was fighting off a wave of laughter that threatened to overtake him. He only hoped they were as convincing as it had sounded to him.

"Garrus Vakarian, go fix this right now!" Tali cried as she came around the corner. "You bosh'tet! I swear to your precious Spirits I will shoot you if you don't go make this better right now!"

"And how am I expected to do that Tali?" Garrus snarled. "She's not going to let me just walk in. I have no doubt she changed the passcode on her room so that I can't get in."

"I'll break you in if I must," Tali said as she pressed the up button on the elevator. "This is my fault Garrus, along with the rest of the girls. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try to fix what I had messed up in the first place."

"How is this your fault Tali?" Garrus asked as he looked down at her. "I screwed this up all on my own. Not that there was really anything there to screw up in the first place."

"Shut up!" Tali shoved him into the elevator as she doors opened before she stepped in behind him. "I will not watch the two of you pine after each other anymore! End of discussion!"

Garrus couldn't hold it in any longer. He erupted with laughter once the elevator doors shut. He wrapped his arms around himself as he doubled over. He had not laughed like that since Shepard had died and it felt good. Tali's body language did not help the situation. She looked as though she was afraid he had lost his mind.

"What is wrong with you?" She screeched. "What about this is funny?"

"I-I'm sorry T-Ta-Tali, " Garrus stuttered out between laughs. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself and looked over at his friend. "Jane and I knew the whole time. We've been playing along with this whole thing."

"Y-you!" Tali was so angry she couldn't form words. She took a few shaky breaths to calm herself. She kept thinking to herself that he was lucky she didn't have her shotgun on her person. "Then what was all of that in the mess hall?"

"Jane wanted to teach you all a lesson, I believe," Garrus said as he straightened up. "She just told me to follow her lead. Who am I to question her?"

"Your blind faith in her is amazing," Tali muttered. "Though not unfounded."

"Few would agree," He stated simply.

The elevator doors opened to Shepard standing in front of her quarters. She was muttering, the occasional swear the only thing understandable. Tali sighed and used her omni-tool to override the lock. Shepard looked back at the elevator to see Tali and Garrus there. She smiled sheepishly and chuckled. She could easily see Tali was upset.

"I was trying really hard to reprogram it, to make it look convincing, but I just managed to get myself locked out instead," She explained as she rubbed the back of her neck.

"You bosh'tet! You let me think you and Garrus were actually fighting!" Tali yelled. "I thought I had messed things up for you two. Not by myself mind you, but that doesn't make it less true."

"Tali," Garrus said as he nudged her back into the elevator. "As if Jane and I could be anything but good. "

"I get it, I'm leaving," Tali said kindly. "But I demand details later."

"Only if you get the girls off the ship," Shepard replied with a smile. "I hope this taught you all a lesson."

"Don't mess with Shepard's love life - especially before she has her coffee," Tali said with a laugh. She closed the elevator doors with a small wave, leaving the two of them alone.

Shepard looked up at Garrus. The look in his eyes was one she had not seen since the early days on the SR-1. They were filled with mirth and happiness. Apparently, she had not been the only one to enjoy their little show.

"Did you really feel like I was flaunting Kaidan around?" Shepard asked gently as she opened walked into her quarters.

"No, I just made up the first thing that came to mind," Garrus replied honestly. He followed her inside and locked the door down behind them. "So, where were we before you felt it necessary to teach the girls a lesson?"

"I believe we were right about," She reached up, her back still to him, and began to ease the bow that kept her top snugly in place apart. "here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you get mad, I know I suck for stopping right when it's about the get to the down and dirty part. I want it done right and not rushed, so you're going to have to wait until the next chapter. Sorry all!
> 
> Thank you all again for the reviews, subscriptions, and kudos. Most importantly, thank you for your patience! I know that waiting isn't much fun, but with work and preping for the next semester (of my second undergrad no less) I've been busier than expected.


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